Alone
by insertcoolname13
Summary: For a few moments all the darkness left him, replaced by pure light. No matter what, he knew he'd never be alone again. Somewhere in the galaxy, a baby girl had been born. A baby girl named Rey.
Ben Solo played alone. He explored the woods behind his home by himself, climbing trees and crossing creeks on his own. He played Dejarik and other hologames alone. He flew his toy ships and reenacted great battles by himself. Every game he played, he played alone. It hadn't always been this way, he used to have playmates. He used to have friends. But that was before the accident. Ben hadn't meant to hurt his friend Dex. They'd just been playing but it didn't matter. Dex's arm had been broken and now nobody wanted to play with him. Even if they had, their parents never would have allowed it. Maybe his mom and dad could have helped, if they'd been around. But mom was busy with the senate and dad had a business to run. Even when they were home, their minds were far away. They didn't have time to worry about their strange little boy, at least not for long. So Ben's only company was the voice that spoke to him at night.

Ben Solo studied alone. The fear and anger the other children held for him when they were small carried over in to adolescence. It was most evident in the classroom and school yard. When the students were assigned group projects, Ben worked by himself. He was never invited to study groups or asked to partner up on field trips. He did his homework alone. No one sat with him at lunch or asked him to play during recess. People made fun of him when they didn't think he could hear. They called him a freak, a disappointment. They all hated him. The voice was louder now, more persistent than before. _They'll never understand you,_ it insisted. _You'll never be appreciated. You're greater than all of them. You're special and they're nothing._ Ben tried to ignore it, he tried his best not to listen.But it was getting harder and harder to do. He'd begun to wonder if the voice was right.

Ben Solo trained alone. His parents claimed they had sent him to Uncle Luke for his own good, to help him. To train him. However, Ben knew the truth. He was too much for them to deal with, they'd sent him away to get him out of their hair. Now he was someone else's problem. Now they were finally free. Han and Leia didn't want him, maybe they never had. Still, he'd hoped. He'd dreamed. Maybe he'd find people at the academy who understood. Maybe he'd find friends. Maybe he wouldn't be alone anymore. He should have known better. The academy was even worse than school. All the other padawans were jealous, of both his power and his relationship to Uncle Luke. They all ignored him, when they weren't busy laughing at him. Luke himself was cold and distant, determined not to show favoritism. So Ben kept to himself, just as he had his whole life. He worked on his forms alone. He meditated away from the group. He tried to swallow his anger, he tried hard not to care. He failed miserably. _You could show them all,_ the voice whispered. _You could make them sorry._ _You have more power than they could even dream of._ _They're afraid of you, afraid of what you could do. Afraid of how great you could become._ By the time he was eleven, Ben gave up his attempts to ignore the voice. It was pointless and besides, everything it said was true.

Ben wasn't alone anymore. Something extraordinary had happened. It didn't even seem possible. He'd been off by himself, reading a holobook, when he'd felt it. It was unlike anything he'd ever experienced before. At first, it was a deep pain in his chest. It exploded, flooding his soul and taking his breath away. It burned and made him cry out in agony. Just when he thought he couldn't stand the pain for another moment, it faded and became a sort of warm glow. It was unbelievable. He felt a connection, a bridge. A deep, unbreakable bond. The voice was temporarily banished to the back of his mind, the hatred and pain was forgotten. For a few moments all the darkness left him, replaced by pure light. No matter what, he knew he'd never be alone again. Somewhere in the galaxy, a baby girl had been born. A baby girl named Rey.


End file.
